Avery and Lily were born 2 months prematurely in January 2012. The first year of their lives has been full of blessings, lessons, and lots of laughs.
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and come down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning. James 1:16
Five Days Old
Lily
Avery
One Month Old
Avery
Lily
Two Months Old
Avery
Lily
Three Months Old
Avery
Lily
Four Months Old
Avery
Lily
Five Months Old
Lily
Avery
Six Months Old
I couldn’t pick just one photo!
Lily
Lily
Avery
Avery
To God be the glory! Great things he has done!
I have a dog, Gigi. She is not Lassie. She is not “man’s best friend.” Gigi has very few redeeming qualities about her, at least at this point in her life. She’s 11 years old and has lived in San Antonio, Austin, Houston, and Belgium. She even has her own passport. She used to go to work with me at the car lot until she bit three Liberty Autos employees, and my Dad had to ban her from the office. Keep in mind she is an 8 pound ball of hair with teeth half the size of a Tic Tac, and about as sharp. She loved all the female employees and my dad. She would lie on the couch in his office, preferably on top of his jacket. She would curl up in his favorite chair and then refuse to move unless he picked her up. To say she is spoiled is not quite accurate. It’s more like she has a vision of how she should be treated, and it’s somewhere between royalty and deity. She always takes my spot on the couch. She always waits for me to get comfortable before letting me know she wants to go outside. She is always underfoot when I’m busy. She always harasses Noel for food. Now, she has feelings for Noel that are beyond love. She seems to think that he is the love of her life, not mine, and she can’t understand why I think otherwise. She regurgitates horrifying things, like solid cubes of cheese, if anyone is so foolish as to feed them to her, and even a rubber foam ear plug. Now that was a low point for me, cleaning up that mess! Occasionally a substance like black tar grows in her ears. AND she stinks! Bad! She stinks the same day she gets a bath! Noel is very creative when describing her aroma. Some of my favorites are:
I always thought that when Noel and I had a child that Gigi would hate it with all her being and would make us so miserable that we’d have to find her a new home. Gigi has never liked small children. She barks and snaps at them when they run or jump or laugh or skip or hop or do just about anything. However, Gigi has had an unexpected reaction to Avery and Lily. She has taken up the charge of their protector. She doesn’t try to lick them or even go near them. She perches on the back of our sofa, looking out our front window, and barks furiously at any and all who approach our house or dare to walk down our street. If she deems you a suspicious person, do not even think about coming near the babies. I do not know how she decides who is safe or not. Her “radar” is not always calibrated 
correctly. Sometimes she protects the babies from me! If I’m performing an unpleasant task that makes the baby upset, Gigi will bark ferociously at me until I show her that the baby is alright. She nipped my niece Rachel on the leg for approaching Lily’s bed! Now there’s a threat! My precious, 6 year old niece who is sweet as pie is a credible threat in Gigi’s mind. Whenever we leave the house with the babies, Gigi is beside herself. She’s even tried to jump in the car with us. Upon our return, she smells each child and the re-assumes her perch on the back of the sofa.
Now, as much as I like comparing God’s love for us to a parent’s love for his or her child, sometimes I think it’s something closer to how I love Gigi. As I’ve said before, Avery and Lily are so easy to love. Even when they do something gross, no one is even bothered! My friend Janie was holding Lily just yesterday, and Lily spit up all over her. Janie just smiled and laughed! She wasn’t the least bit upset. Believe me, if Gigi threw up on anyone, the outcome would not be laughter. Despite all her grossness, selfishness, general worthlessness, I love her. I’ve removed gum from her facial hair when she’s tried to eat it off the sidewalk. I’ve medicated her ears when they start growing bacterial cultures. I’ve come up with new and ingenious ways to drug her with Benadryl when her allergies flare up. I’ve even walked the streets in the dark on the day after Christmas when she decided to run away. (See Footnote) Oh yeah, I forgot that she runs away every chance she gets. You’ll see her scurrying, tail tucked between her legs, totally terrified, but still running away. It’s like us, human beings I mean. We run away from God and His love and protection. Scared and confused, we’ll scurry off into the cold, dark night. Thankfully He always comes looking for us.
Footnote
Noel does all these things and more for Gigi. He defends her every time I get frustrated with her. I am thankful for, although baffled by, his love for her!
Now pictures of babies!!!!!
Lily and her daddy on Father’s Day
Avery and her daddy on Father’s Day
Lily on Left and Avery on Right
Lily says “Yum!”
Lily and Avery are 5 months old! They are so precious and so fun! In fact, I’m pretty sure they are the best, most brilliant, most beautiful children on the planet. I’m just saying. Our super night nanny Bettye, who is no longer in our employment, an effective sleep training plan, and a gracious and merciful God have granted us with babies who sleep 12 to 13 hours a night. (see footnote 1 for info on sleep training) In fact, I think they are tiny teenagers. Their favorite pastimes are sleeping, eating, and watching TV. Yes, they watch TV. Only the highest caliber of programming of course! Their favorites are Hoda and Kathy Lee, the Real Housewives of New Jersey, and pro-Basketball.
Spokesbaby for Happy Bellies
They started eating baby food, and it is such a blast! (see Avery’s endorsement to the right)Meal times are 9 AM, 2 PM, and 7:30 PM, so feel free to stop by, if you are free from contagion. Avery and Lily have never been sick, thank the LORD. I’ve learned a whole new set of lessons from introducing baby food into our lives.
used as your shield when a sneezing attack erupts.Lessons Avery and Lily have learned
Ever since childhood, I’ve thought about scars a lot, probably because I got such a large one at such a young age. My brain surgery scar is quite large, as you’d imagine, although it blends well into my hair line. Even so, I can always see it, in every picture, every time I glance in the mirror. As a child it bothered me a great deal. I hated when it showed. When I’d go swimming and my hair got wet, it was visible, and some kid would always ask about it. Almost every time I see a new hair stylist I get questioned about it. It’s actually kind of hilarious. I’ve been asked everything from “Were you in a car wreck?” to “Did you know you have a big scar on your head?” I truly have been asked that more than once. As much as I’d like to say “I had no idea!” I try to cut them some slack. My current stylist never asked me about my scar. (see footnote 3 for the scoop on Kharissa) As an adult, I don’t mind my scar nearly as much. Actually, I don’t mind it at all. I see it in the mirror. I see it in my wedding pictures. I think to myself, that’s a part of my life and part of who I am.
Bringing Avery and Lily into the world gave me a whole new set of scars. As soon as I knew I was having twins, I purchased the most expensive stretch mark crème I could find. I dutifully slathered it on my belly twice a day until it gave me a rash. I tried just about every other product on the market until I finally came to terms with the fact that I was going to get stretch marks no matter what lotion I applied to my skin. I even asked my doctors for recommendations! They thought it was fairly hilarious. Here I was, the most precarious pregnancy they will ever see in their entire medical career, and I’m asking about stretch mark prevention products.
I also got some scars during my trials with Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome. Above my right hip bone, I got a scar about the size of a nickel from the drain tube that was inserted into my abdomen. That tube was there, stitched in place, for almost a month. It was a rough time in my pregnancy to say the least. I also have a scar just below my right collar bone, about the size of a pencil eraser. When my body was struggling with OHSS, an anesthesiologist put a central line in my chest. It was one of the only places on my body where they could get a line in. I see that scar every time I look in the mirror, even though it’s one of my smallest. And, like so many other women, I have the C-section scar. Mine is about a ten inch curve. I’m not planning on wearing any tiny bikinis, so that scar doesn’t concern me terribly.
As odd as this may sound, these scars don’t bother me. In fact, they empower me. I wouldn’t say I’m going to show them off, but they serve as a reminder to me. I went through a major battle to bring Avery and Lily into this world. My body had to fight the battle of a lifetime to keep all three of us going. I see myself and can say I made it through, just by the grace of God, we all made it through. I can look at my beautiful daughters and say, “You are so worth it.” They are worth every mark on my body. Then I think of my savior. I think of His scars. I am thankful beyond words that He looks at His scars and says, “They are so worth it.”
Footnotes
1. We used the program outlined in the book Twelve Hours Sleep by Twelve Weeks Old by Suzy Giordano. It works, and Avery and Lily are the proof. At 3 and a half months old they started sleeping 12 hours a night and still take two naps a day, two hours each. I truly thank God for the gift of sleep every night!
2. Box of 3 packages of 184 Huggies One & Done baby wipes is $26.97. My favorite Old Navy tshirt is on sale for $6.99, regular price $19.94. Must look into using Old Navy tshirts instead of wipes.
3. Kharissa Stevens is a fantastic stylist. If you live in the Houston area, you need to go see her. She helped me so much when my hair was falling out from the OHSS, giving me a new style that helped cover the bald spots. As my hair grew back in, it came in super curly!! I had straight hair my whole life, and now I have an afro. She has guided me into taming my new curls into manageable locks! She listed the products I’ll need and can buy at the drugstore, rather than trying to sell me expensive salon brands. Also, her prices are so 1994. I can’t even believe it. Her number is 281-235-6783.
Sometimes God uses drastic circumstances to teach me a lesson, as evident in some of my previous posts. Thankfully, sometimes He uses that still, small whisper. I’ve long accepted the fact of God’s love for me, but I’ve often wondered why He loves me. Even on my best day, I’m self-serving, myopic, and frivolous! Why would the sovereign God of all creation deign to love me, or any of us? He loves us to the point of giving His son for us. As a small child, I memorized John 3:16, just like so many other Sunday School attenders, but I have to slow down and really think about what it means: “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son. . .” Without a moment’s hesitation, I would forfeit my life to preserve that of Avery or Lily. I can think of no human being for whom I would give even one drop of their blood. So why would God give Jesus for us?
A few nights ago, I was holding Lily in the dark hours of the morning. Standing in the nursery with her cradled against me, rocking from side to side to soothe her back to sleep, I looked down at her precious face in the darkness and asked the Lord, “So this is how You love me?” The true nature of God will remain a secret to me, but I cherish these small glimpses so that I can know Him more. God is our father, but motherhood has taught me about His love for us. Avery and Lily are very easy to love, unlike most of us adults! They laugh and smile and coo. They both raise one eyebrow, their left, just like me. They “sing” along to music. We have hilarious conversations about their toys, their clothes, their bottles, and their baths. I delight in them! Thus the question echoes through my mind, “So this is how You love me?”
The Lord your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17
Photos of Lily
Photographic Proof of Raising One Eyebrow
Photos of Avery
Avery and Lily fight for their lives . . . when toys attack.
Avery is on the left, and Lily is on the right.
Avery and Lily are three months old and weigh about 12 pounds. Every day they do something new. Noel and I are on our toes at all times. For instance, Avery managed to flip herself over, from tummy to back, by using the momentum from swinging her head with all her might. We were all surprised, her most of all. Lily absolutely loves music. Her eyes light up as soon as she hears the first notes of a song. A lot of people have asked me what it’s like having twins. People seem pretty curious about how it all works. I can only speak to what it’s like to have 3 month old twins on this day. Tomorrow could be a whole new ball game. Here are some insights into what life is like with Avery and Lily and some of the lessons we have learned.
Invading Army vs. Hurricane
Several of the baby books I read during pregnancy used the metaphor of an invading army when discussing the arrival of a newborn. Since I’m a native of the Gulf Coast, I identify better with the metaphor of a hurricane. Hurricanes are forces of nature with no malicious intent, but if you reside in its path you are subject to the mayhem it can create. When preparing for a hurricane, there are certain steps most people take: buying batteries and strange items like transistor radios, and stocking up on non-perishable food, bottled water, and other household necessities. Some people even board up their windows to protect against air-born debris. With the help of friends and family, I amassed a magnificent stockpile. I started out with over 2,000 diapers from preemie to size 4, over 2,000 wipes, 48 rolls of paper towels, 48 rolls of toilet paper, 3 gallons of dishwashing liquid, 2 cases of hand soap, 1 case of dishwasher detergent packets, 1 gallon of hand sanitizer, 1 case of Lysol wipes, and approximately 9 gallons of laundry detergent. We also bought things we never needed before like vibrating bouncer seats, along with loads of batteries in various sizes. We even put plug covers in a few outlets regardless of the fact that Avery and Lily are not mobile. During a hurricane people often eat a lot of food that doesn’t require electricity to prepare. At this very moment I have 8 boxes of Special K cereal in my pantry. So I would say that our home is a bit more like that of one in the aftermath of a hurricane than one besieged by a foreign power.
Stacking the deck in my favor
It’s impossible to convey to a three month old who’s screaming to be fed that I got wrapped up in Words With Friends and forget to have her bottle ready. It’s is also no fun to deal with a diaper explosion and not have a receptacle ready to receive the “fall out.” I like to keep the deck stacked in my favor at all times by keeping all the necessities ready to go. The iPad will wait patiently. Lily will not.
One reason the deck is so often stacked in my favor is because we have a night nanny, for whom we are very thankful. If we did not have Bettye in our lives, we would be hollow shells of our former selves. We’re able to get a full night’s sleep Monday through Friday, knowing that Avery and Lily are being well cared for by Bettye and her assistant Gigi. Thankfully Bettye and Gigi are great friends, and she lets Gigi stay with her all night. Saturday and Sunday nights we are on our own. I go to bed at about 8:30, and Noel takes care of the babies until 2 am. At that point, he clocks out, and I clock in. When Bettye arrives Monday night, we are so grateful to leave our babies in her capable hands. Gigi is grateful too. She seems to get less sleep when we’re on the night shift, needing to monitor every move we make. It’s kind of bad when the dog doesn’t have total faith in you!
Whoever screams first, eats first
We feed Avery and Lily on a schedule. Lily eats at 9, 1, and 5 AM and PM. Avery eats at 9:30, 1:30, and 5:30 AM and PM. As soon as they got home from the hospital, I tweaked their schedules so that they wouldn’t be hungry at the exact same moment, as long as everything goes according to plan. There are lots of philosophies on how best to feed your baby, but all I know is that if we didn’t feed our twins on a schedule we’d have some unhappy babies. For the first month and a half, Avery was our lead eater. She simply ate the fastest. Six weeks ago, Lily decided to change that. Now Lily is our lead eater. As much as I like the comfort of a schedule, we don’t hold the schedule above the needs of the individual babies. If tomorrow Avery needs to eat first, then we’ll adapt. Neither girl is going to take it well if I tell them they can’t eat yet because the clock hasn’t struck 1:00. I read quite a few books while pregnant. Now that I’m in the thick of it I think that you need to put a plan in place that works for you and use common sense from there. It seems like anyone who’s had a baby deems herself qualified to write a book about raising children. There are a lot of books that make new parents feel like if they make one mistake they’ll ruin the child permanently, and many of them are written by people who’ve never even had a child. My gal pal Liz Vallette and I were joking about this topic, and she says she’s going to write a book entitled The Martini Drinker’s Guide to Pregnancy. I think it would be a best seller.
Tiny Celebrities
We rarely take the girls out of the house. The primary reason is to minimize their exposure to germs. Another major reason is that we get mobbed like we’re escorting Justin Beiber through a middle school. People see that double stroller and go nuts. When we want to get out of the house, we take the babies to Lowe’s on Thursday mornings. Yes, the home improvement store. Men are less interested in babies, and it’s not packed on a Thursday morning. However, before we finish shopping, every female in the store will find us like they have some internal radar that picks up on us as soon as we step through the door.
Twin Lessons
One screaming baby is better than two screaming babies. If peace and quiet is not an option, choose the path of least screaming.
Channel your inner ninja when feeding babies in the wee hours of the night. In the cover of dark, move like a shadow. Their tummies will be full without them even knowing they’ve eaten.
If you use tweezers to extract a booger, do not expect a positive reaction. Like the game Operation, if you do not touch the sides you may get away with it. If you do touch the sides, there will be a very loud, unpleasant sound.
The Jinx is real. We never say things like, “I think the girls are going to be really calm today” or “I bet they’re going to sleep for hours.” Surely as soon as such words are uttered, the exact opposite happens. Noel and I have a solemn pact not to jinx one another when leaving the babies in the other one’s care.
Even a three month old can fake cough.
Clothing is optional. For the babies, not me. It’s also acceptable to wear the same onesie two days in a row if it’s clean. Likewise, we can change four times in a single day just because we have so many cute outfits. Bathing is also optional. For the babies, not me. We shoot for twice a week at the max.
Try not to confuse the formula and the coffee creamer. The results will be disastrous.
Don’t watch Dr. Oz. Seriously people. Just don’t.
Sometimes I can make the babies fall asleep just by talking to them, which is awesome yet somewhat insulting.
Using your toes for certain tasks when your hands are full is acceptable as long as no other adult is present.
Do not feel bad for taking the baby to her doctor appointment with masking tape holding her diaper together and wearing one sock. You made it there on time after all, even if you did have to drive over a grassy esplanade because you missed the driveway. That’s why you have an SUV. Oh yeah, If you’re reading this Dad, that didn’t really happen.
Now for what you all really want, pictures!
Lily doesn’t look thrilled to share the Boppy!
Avery is so fond of her Paci Bear.
Lily is a professional sleeper.
Lily’s first Easter.
Avery’s first Easter.
Today, March 9 2012, is the day on which our daughters were supposed to be born, according to man. By God’s schedule, they arrived on January 11. They are two months old and have doubled in weight, from about three and a half pounds to almost eight pounds. They grasp our hands; they explore the world with their eyes; they smile; they make a symphony of hilarious sounds. Every day they do something new. As it says in the third chapter of Ecclesiastes, “to every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” Now is a time to laugh, a time to embrace, a time to love.
These pictures were taken by a very talented photographer, Michelle Wilbrett. To see more of her work visit her website at http://www.sweetgracephoto.com. In all of the pictures, Lily is on the left, and Avery is on the right.
Lily is on the Left and Avery is on the Right
Our girls are home! I make 16 bottles a day, change about 20 diapers, and love every minute of it. Noel is right alongside me, feeding them, burping them, and soothing them when they cry. In his words, he’s in utter bliss. I can’t help but feel rather triumphant lately. In fact, I feel victorious. After all, the very desire of my heart has come to pass. I am the mother of two beautiful, healthy babies. When I saw my OBGYN for the routine, follow-up visit, she commented on how I’ve overcome my medical problems to make my dream of motherhood come true. With total certainty, I can say that all of the victory must be credited to God. Only did my hope come to pass when I got out of the way. Sometimes I feel like I have a lot in common with Rebekah from the book of Genesis, besides both of us having twins. While I have never connived to help steal a birthright, I have attempted to sidestep God in the pursuit of my own will. It was only when I arrived at a place of submission that God opened the door for me.
In January 2010, Noel and I decided to consult a reproductive endocrinologist. I researched many infertility clinics and chose a highly respected specialist, Dr. M. We sat down with her that January, and she explained that I would have to give myself daily injections in the stomach of a medication called Menopur, which would make me ovulate. My body doesn’t make eggs on its own. She also explained that I would need to be closely monitored while on the medication. Since our insurance wouldn’t cover the medication or the monitoring, and since it could take several cycles, we spent 2010 getting financially prepared. Our first cycle began December 2010 and was a total failure. I learned two things very quickly. First, the nurses at Dr. M.’s clinic didn’t understand what it meant to be Panhypopituitarian; therefore, they could not answer my questions about how my treatment cycle was going. The second thing I learned was that the nurses’ main job was to keep the crazy women who are hopped up on massive doses of hormones AWAY from the doctors. Other than the consultation in January, I never saw Dr. M. She never sat down with us to explain how my treatment was going or why it failed. When I insisted on seeing a doctor after 3 weeks on the medication, I saw her colleague, who told me that if my body didn’t respond to the medication by the 4th week then I’d never be able to have children. After that cycle ended, I decided I wouldn’t be going back to Dr. M.
After giving my body a month to rid itself of all the hormones, I tried another endocrinologist, Dr. R. The best thing about Dr. R. was that he didn’t waste our time. In February, he put me on a very high dose of Menopur, and after 5 days, he told me that it wasn’t working and that there was no reason to continue that cycle. He said to give myself another month to process the medication and then call him in March if I wanted to try again. The difference in the first and second attempts was that because of the higher dose of Menopur I had an adverse reaction. I ached from head to toe, and my hands and feet swelled. This reaction lasted for at least a month after I stopped the medication.
So Noel and I began March of 2011 very confused about what to do next. I was beyond frustrated. I felt like my lifelong dream of being a mother was slipping through my fingers. To be totally honest, I was angry. In fact, I was angry at God. I felt that I had been a really good sport about all these medical issues I had been forced to deal with and that I should be allowed just this one thing. Was it too much to ask? I only wanted what everyone else seemed to have with total ease. Why couldn’t my body do what it’s supposed to do for once? I completely stopped praying, which had been a regular practice for me since I was a little child. I didn’t even realize the work that God had begun in my life.
As I was feeling all of that anger, I was actually lying to myself, not admitting even to myself the truth of what was in my heart. I kept telling myself that I wasn’t praying or seeking God about becoming a mother because He had already blessed me so much that I couldn’t ask for anything else. It’s true that I am a very blessed person now and was a very blessed person then. However, that was obviously not the reason I had stopped turning to God. I didn’t like the way things were going. What if I didn’t like what He had to say about the matter? What if His plans lay elsewhere for me? I’d rather do things my way than risk getting an answer that was contrary to my plan. The only problem was that my way wasn’t working at all.
Fortunately, God never turned away from me despite my dreadful attitude. In church one Sunday at the beginning of March, our pastor at White Oak Baptist spoke on James 5:16:
“Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”
As he was speaking, tears came to my eyes. I knew I wasn’t being honest with myself or with God. My body wasn’t in need of healing, but my spirit was. As we drove home, I told Noel the truth about how I felt, how I was angry at God, and bitter in my heart about things not going according to my plan. I had wanted everything to work out just the way I wanted it when I wanted it. Mainly I was scared that I would never be a mother. Noel told me that he was totally open to us adopting. He recognized the possible health risks involved in pregnancy for me, as well as the emotional turmoil caused by each failed attempt at infertility treatment. I was so touched by his offer. We hadn’t really discussed adoption, and I hadn’t know how receptive he’d be to the idea. I felt like a door had opened after so many had slammed in my face. We began talking about adoption more and more, and I started thinking that maybe God was leading us in that direction.
I started praying again, asking God what to do. Should we try another round of infertility treatment or start the adoption process? I would wake each day hoping for some divine arrow in the sky pointing us in the direction we should go. Thankfully, God gave us almost that much help. Our pastor began a sermon series on the will of God. He said it was less about asking God which path to choose, but all about drawing near to God, seeking a relationship with Him, and being thankful for whatever situation you’re in. It was then that I finally understood what was so wrong with the way I’d been going about things. I started spending time each morning reading my Bible and praying. I would ask God to simply give us enough light to take one step. I stopped asking for all the answers at once, just that God would guide us through each day. I focused on pursuing God instead of pursuing my plan. It was at this point that I got the idea that most people would find totally insane.
I realized that I wanted to pursue both adoption and conception at the same time. I knew that we couldn’t pursue both to the end, but we could begin the adoption process and try one more cycle of infertility treatment. Noel and I began researching adoption agencies and attending orientation seminars. We also met with one more reproductive endocrinologist. We found an adoption agency that we were very pleased with and started the lengthy application process. We decided that it’d be best not to publicize this cycle of infertility treatment. It’s a total emotional rollercoaster, and it was much less drama just to keep it quiet. When we had our consultation with the third doctor, Dr. G., we asked him if it made sense to try again. He said that it was definitely possible to conceive, and that the previous two doctors hadn’t used the correct medication. Menopur contains equal amounts of two different hormones. I needed to take these two hormones separately so that the doses could be independently varied, meaning I’d give myself two shots in the stomach everyday instead of one! I told Dr. G. that I didn’t want to be treated like a science experiment and only wanted to try again if he was confident that pregnancy was possible. He looked straight at me and said, “You are a science experiment.” I knew then that he’d at least be honest with me!
During April and May, we worked on the adoption process as Dr. G. gathered all my medical records to make a detailed plan of action. When I worked on filling out the adoption application, I worked on it with the full intention of completing the process and adopting a child, not like it was a back-up plan. I continued to pursue God and spend time in prayer and study every morning. I felt totally assured that motherhood was in my future; I just didn’t know by what means and was trusting God to guide us on our path. One of the verses that helped me tremendously was 1Thessalonians 5:18:
“In every thing give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”
I adopted the mantra, “I will praise you in every circumstance.” I just knew that no matter what happened that it would be the will of God and part of His perfect plan for me. When I began the cycle with Dr. G., I honestly didn’t believe it would work. After a few days, Dr. G. told me that things were looking good, and it didn’t really register. After a week, Dr. G. told me that the treatment really was working, and it still didn’t register with me! When we got to the second week, and Dr. G. told me that I was almost ready to ovulate; I finally started to realize that we had a chance. I kept praying and talking to God and repeating that I would praise Him in every circumstance.
I completed the medication on Wednesday June 15 and ovulated two days later. I’m going to leave out all the details and just say that Dr. G. told me to take a pregnancy test in two weeks on Friday July 1. On Monday June 20, I woke up to realize that my stomach was swollen and hard. I figured it was because of all the hormones I had taken and that I needed to give them time to leave my system. By Thursday I was so swollen that I looked 6 months pregnant and was having trouble concealing my bulging stomach from my family! I called Dr. G. and informed him of this new development. He simply said that I needed to rest and drink lots of water. I knew I should stay home from work Friday but didn’t know how to go about it. For those of you who don’t know, I work with my dad. I didn’t want to call in sick and alarm him, so I decided to go to the office. After lunch I told him that I was having female hormone problems and that I needed to go home. No dad in the world is going to question his adult daughter about female hormone problems, so he just said he hoped I’d feel better, and I headed home.
By that evening, my abdomen had swollen so much that I was having trouble breathing. I called the doctor’s office, and the nurse who answered asked if I’d weighed myself. I stepped on the scale and saw that I was 15 pounds heavier than the week before! She told me to come into the emergency room right away. Noel came home, and we headed to the hospital. The emergency room doctor said I was having a reaction called Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome, or OHSS. My ovaries had been over-stimulated by the medication and were producing huge amounts of fluid, which was filling up in my abdomen. He said that they’d draw blood to see if I was pregnant but that it was probably too soon to tell. He also ordered an ultrasound of my abdomen to see how much fluid had collected.
What happened next still baffles me. I was wheeled down the hall to the sonographer’s room. Noel went with me. The sonographer was performing the ultrasound and kept shaking her head. She asked me how long I’d been trying to get pregnant. I said 6 months. She just shook her head. She asked how many cycles of infertility treatment I’d had. I said 3. She just shook her head. She asked how long I’d tried to get pregnant before trying infertility treatment. I explained that the only way I could get pregnant was through medical intervention. She just shook her head, and said, “Well, you’re not pregnant.” I was shocked. I started trying to figure out how she’d know. Had the lab results come back, and she’d seen them in the computer? I knew she wouldn’t be able to tell from the ultrasound. I waited a few minutes and said to her, “So I’m really not pregnant.” She replied, “No, you’re not pregnant.” Once she’d finished the ultrasound, she told me to sit in the wheelchair and wait for her to come back. Noel sat next to me, and I began to cry. I knew that it was a really long shot to get pregnant, but I just wasn’t ready to hear the news, and not from such an unsympathetic person. Noel comforted me and told me not to listen to her since there was no way for her to see from an ultrasound if I was pregnant. I tried to control my emotions and repeated in my mind, “I will praise you in every circumstance.” I knew that if I wasn’t pregnant then it wasn’t God’s will. The sonographer returned and took me next door to get a chest X-ray. In front of me, she told the radiologist, “She’s not pregnant, so you don’t need to shield her.” I was shocked. I’ve never had an X-ray without being shielded. When the radiologist saw the look of shock on my face, she said, “Don’t worry. I’m still going to shield you.”
When I got back to my room, the ER doctor told me that the results from the blood test were inconclusive. It was still too soon to tell if I was pregnant or not. I was shocked again! I told him about what the sonographer had said. He was flabbergasted! He confirmed that she had no idea what he was talking about and that I definitely could be pregnant. We just had to wait a little longer to find out. I still don’t understand why the sonographer said what she said. Anyway, the bad news was that I had to go into Dr. G.’s office the next morning to have my abdomen drained, which is about as fun as it sounds.
We found out I was pregnant two days later when Noel had to rush me back to the ER because my abdomen had swollen up again the day after it was drained, and I was unable to stay conscious. Thankfully I was conscious when the doctor gave us the good news. I wish I’d had a better reaction though. I looked at Noel and said, “In your face, Sonographer!” I quickly realized how inappropriate that was. I was very ill. I also told Noel that I thought that sonographer was from the devil, and was trying to get me to blame God. You know, like what happened to Job. Please understand that I was VERY ill and not thinking clearly. Noel reassured me that it was highly unlikely that the sonographer was from the devil, but that she was a moron.
Unfortunately this was just the beginning of my ordeal with OHSS. I ended up having my abdomen drained 3 times, being admitted to the hospital for two weeks, and having a drain tube inserted in my abdomen that had to stay in for 3 weeks. I had issues with OHSS until about the 20th week of pregnancy. After the swelling in my abdomen stopped, I had horrible pain in my back and rib cage, followed by most of my skin peeling off, followed by most of my hair falling out. Sounding a little more Job-like, right? Just kidding!! Beth Moore said in one of her Bible studies that we all want to be overcomers, but we don’t want to undergo anything. Well, I guess I had to undergo somethings so that I could be an overcomer! God knew exactly what He was doing when He gave us twins, since I will not be attempting to get pregnant again. Those of you who’ve read the first post of this blog know that finding out I was pregnant was just the beginning of my journey with God. He had, and still has, much for me to learn. I’m so thankful that He is a patient teacher. I know that He will use our beautiful Lily and Avery to teach me many more lessons. For now, we bask in the glow of our loving God and the two little angels He has given us.
Avery on the Right and Lily on the Left
Avery and Lily 